Years ago, when I was the executive assistant to Kevin, a hospital CEO, a high school student asked if he could job shadow him.

Kevin agreed, but he wanted the student to see more than one person sitting in the CEO's office. He asked me to build a schedule that would give him time with several members of the administrative team, including leaders in finance, nursing, human resources, and operations.

We made the arrangements. The student completed the necessary forms and steps. Then, on the day he was supposed to arrive, he was a no-show.

I reached out to him to ask what had happened. Then that evening, I mentioned it to my daughter because they attended the same school. She said she felt terrible for him and explained that he was dealing with a difficult home life. At the time, he wasn't even living at home.

When I told Kevin what I had learned about why the student probably hadn't shown up, Kevin didn't write him off. He cared and called the high school counselor.

She was concerned too. She saw great potential in him, but she knew he was facing obstacles most students didn't have to manage. She was afraid he might fall through the cracks.

So Kevin went to the school to meet with him.

Kevin understood that a rough beginning doesn't have to decide the rest of your life. He had made his own share of poor choices around that age, including failing out of college. His path eventually took him into the Navy, which opened the door to a career in healthcare. That path finally brought him back to his hometown as the CEO of a community hospital and clinics.

That student went on to graduate from high school when there had been a real chance he might give up. I understand that he later sent Kevin a thank-you note, grateful that someone had taken an interest in his wellbeing and believed he was worth the effort.

The kind of leadership people remember

That was how Kevin led, both at the hospital and in the community.

He saw strengths in people. He appreciated what they brought to the table, and he had a way of bringing out their best. He looked beyond a missed job-shadowing opportunity, found the reason, saw the untapped potential, and offered support.

Years later, when I resigned from the hospital to move to Florida, I cried like a baby.

I was excited about the new chapter I was choosing. I also knew that my time with Kevin and other great leaders had prepared me for it. Their example had helped shape the way I worked, the way I treated people, and the way I saw myself.

Knowing I was ready to leave didn't make leaving them easy.

Leadership like that isn't limited to CEOs or anyone with a title. We practice it in our families, friendships, workplaces, and communities. We practice it every time we pay enough attention to recognize what someone does well and care enough to tell them.

Specific encouragement carries more weight than a general compliment. “You're amazing” feels good for a moment. “You have a way of staying calm when everyone else is overwhelmed, and it helps people trust you” shows genuine appreciation.

Sometimes another person can see our strength before we can. Their words help us recognize what was already there.

What do you see in someone?

Think of one person in your life. What strength do you see in them? What have they done that makes you believe it?

Tell them both.

Identify the strength, then say what you noticed. Be sincere. Be specific. Let your encouragement be a gift without trying to control what they do with it.

You may never know exactly how much your words mattered. Kevin probably couldn't have known, when he drove to that school, where that young man's life would go.

He knew his own story might help the student see that a difficult beginning didn't have to decide the rest of his life. He knew the student deserved a real chance.

Sometimes bringing out the best in someone begins there.