Have you ever thought about what it must have felt like inside Apollo 13 when the oxygen tank blew? The spacecraft was headed to the moon with three astronauts, when an oxygen tank ruptured, crippling the command module, the main part of the ship they needed for the trip home. Just like that, the mission changed from landing on the moon to simply surviving the trip back.
The crew climbed into the lunar module to use it as a lifeboat, but it was designed to only keep two people breathing safely, not three. As carbon dioxide started building to dangerous levels, mission control had every reason to spiral, and to spend their precious hours wishing the ship had been made for a situation like this.
They didn't.
Instead, they asked one question. How do we make the square air filters from the command module fit into the round openings manufactured for the lunar module, using nothing but what is already on this ship?
That's it. Not why did this happen. Not whose fault is this. Just, how do we get these men home?
So, a room full of engineers came up with the plan for the space travelers to create a working adapter out of plastic bags, cardboard, and duct tape. With literally what they had on hand.
And it worked. All three astronauts came home.
It's one of my favorite NASA stories.
My whole life, without really realizing it, I've leaned toward asking how do I fix this instead of why did this happen. Turns out that's exactly what brought those astronauts home. They didn't waste their hours dwelling on what the lunar module lacked. They asked one solid question and built the answer out of duct tape.
Asking why keeps you circling the problem
The older I get, the more I notice why questions have a way of keeping us parked in the same spot.
Why did this happen to me? Why does this always happen? Why didn't I see this coming?
I understand the pull toward those questions. I have asked every one of them. After one of the hardest endings in my life, I spent months living inside why. Why it happened. Why I didn't see it coming sooner. Why someone I trusted made the choices they made. None of those answers changed a single thing about my future. They just kept me circling the same wreckage, looking for someone or something to give me an explanation.
That is what why questions tend to do. They leave us feeling powerless, even when we are doing our very best to make sense of what happened. The longer we stay there, the easier it becomes to feel like life is happening to us instead of through us.
Asking how moves you toward home
How do I fix this? How do I move forward? How do I get from here to where I want to be?
This is where your power returns.
When you ask how, you put yourself back in the driver's seat. You are no longer waiting for an answer before you are allowed to act. You are already taking the next step.
This is exactly what those engineers did in that control room. They did not need to fully understand every detail of what went wrong before they started building toward what needed to go right. They simply asked the question that pointed them home, and then they got to work.
The day things turned around for me after that hard ending was the day I stopped asking why it happened and started asking how I was going to rebuild from here. Nothing about my circumstances changed at that moment. Only the question did. But that was enough to start moving again.
Building solutions from what is already on board
Here is what I love about the Apollo 13 story. Those engineers did not have access to a fully stocked supply closet. They had what was already on the spacecraft. Plastic bags. Cardboard. Duct tape. That was it.
And with their ingenuity, it was enough.
I think a lot of us delay our own solutions because we are waiting for resources we do not have yet. More time. More money. More confidence. We tell ourselves we will deal with the problem once we have the perfect setup.
But you already have something on board. A specific skill. Someone you can call. An idea you have been mulling over. A piece of wisdom from a hard season you survived. You do not need everything. You need to start working with what you already have right now.
Becoming someone who reaches for the better question
Solution focused thinking is not something you either have or do not have. It is a habit, and like any habit, it gets stronger every time you practice it.
So, the next time life hands you your own version of an exploding oxygen tank, notice which question shows up first. If it is why, that is okay. Just do not stay there. Let it pass through and then ask the question that moves you somewhere. How do I fix this? How do I get home from here?
That one question, asked repeatedly, is how an entire life can change direction.
Imagine what becomes possible when reaching for how instead of why becomes your default instead of your exception. Imagine the problems that stop having power over you the moment you stop circling them.
Pick one place in your life where you have been circling why. See what happens when you ask how instead.
In The Driver's Seat Podcast
Every week I show up on my podcast the same way I show up here, with real stories, honest conversation, and the kind of talk that makes you think about your life differently. Come find me wherever you get your podcasts.
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