You Don't Have to Earn Relief You are allowed to feel better before the problem is solved. For a year, I carried around the same unsolved problem. I was trying to write a memoir, and I could not figure out how to organize it. How do I tell the whole story without letting my dad's disappearance overshadow everything else? I read books about writing, started a blog to practice my writing, and turned the structure over in my head so many times I lost count. Then one afternoon, I was walking the...
3 days ago • 2 min read
When Did Everything Become So Serious? Somewhere between being a kid and becoming an adult, “Ice cream!” became “Ice cream.” My grandson was taking laps in their backyard, pretending he was racing on his bike when we heard the distinct music of an ice cream truck. With wide eyes, he shrieked, "Ice cream! Let's go, Lovey!" When the truck pulled up in front of their house, he jumped up and down while looking at his choices, then switched to a dance once he decided on Minions. I just got back...
10 days ago • 3 min read
They Handed Me the Keys. I Figured It Out. Nobody asked if I knew how to do anything beyond writing as a reporter. They just handed me the keys. I was three weeks into my job as a reporter at the Knoxville Journal Express when the editor made a mistake that turned the whole town against him. He was fired within days. The acting editor worked at another paper half an hour away, so somebody local had to become the lead news person in the meantime. That somebody was me. I still had to cover the...
17 days ago • 4 min read
Wanting More Doesn’t Make You Ungrateful You are allowed to build on a good life instead of needing to escape one. When I gave notice at the hospital and told people I was moving to Florida, everyone had questions. Where would I live? What would I do for work? What if it didn’t work out? I wasn’t moving because my life in Iowa was terrible. I loved where I worked, I had people I cared about, and a reputation I was proud of. I needed something different. For years, I had wanted to write a book...
24 days ago • 5 min read
What “I’ve Got It” Might Be Protecting You From Somewhere out there is a windshield wiper I installed myself, lying in the road, and it taught me more about independence than I expected. A couple of years ago, I bought a set of windshield wipers for my car. Somewhere in the middle of wrestling with the wrong adapter, I started wondering why I had decided this was a job for me instead of an auto-parts store. So, I jokingly posted about it on Facebook, asking why do I ever think buying...
about 1 month ago • 3 min read
Your Emotions Are Your Fuel Gauge Your emotions are your fuel gauge, letting you know when your tank is full and when it's getting low. I don't get short with people. It stays internal. A bad driver gets under my skin. Unexpected interruptions bother me. Someone's actions cause me extra work I don't have time for, and instead of my usual go-with-the-flow attitude, I feel a flare of annoyance. That's my signal. My tank is getting low. So, I go find water. I head to the beach in the evening,...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
You Were Never Alone The loneliest I ever felt, a little girl reminded me I was not alone. I was going through a hard season and on the inside of that storm, I felt isolated. Even though I knew people cared about me. It was during the COVID pandemic. Most people kept to themselves anyway, which somehow made the loneliness feel even heavier. One morning I was taking my usual walk around the condo complex where I lived. The buildings were quiet, doors closed, blinds drawn on every window. There...
about 2 months ago • 3 min read
Stop Asking Why. Start Asking How. Asking why keeps you parked. Asking how gets you home. Have you ever thought about what it must have felt like inside Apollo 13 when the oxygen tank blew? The spacecraft was headed to the moon with three astronauts, when an oxygen tank ruptured, crippling the command module, the main part of the ship they needed for the trip home. Just like that, the mission changed from landing on the moon to simply surviving the trip back. The crew climbed into the lunar...
about 2 months ago • 4 min read
When Giving Becomes Losing Yourself You can love people with your whole heart and still be slowly disappearing in the process. We lived in a house that was considered upscale in a moderate, rural Iowa county. Six thousand five hundred square feet of top-of-the-line living space. An indoor pool and hot tub. Six acres with two ponds stocked full of fish. My dad had purchased it for about sixty cents on the dollar because he had the cash and the owners weren't receiving offers. That was my dad....
2 months ago • 4 min read